The Power of Emotional Intelligence: A Personal Reflection
May 19, 2025
by Dennis T. Croskery
Emotional intelligence (EI) is more than just a buzzword; it is a vital skill that can significantly influence our personal and professional success. Defined as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while also empathizing with the emotions of others, EI plays a crucial role in how we navigate our lives. If I could offer advice to my younger self, it would undoubtedly center around the importance of developing emotional intelligence.
Throughout my journey, I have discovered that emotional regulation has often been one of the most challenging aspects of my personality. I would tell my younger self to prioritize not only academic and social skills but also to exercise the "emotional intelligence muscles." The impact of our emotions can be profound, affecting nearly every decision we make.
Consider this: on any given day, I might make a financial decision based solely on my emotional state. Whether it’s splurging on an expensive cup of coffee or making a significant life choice, my emotions often drive my actions. Reflecting on my past, I can identify countless instances where my feelings dictated pivotal decisions—whether to start or end a relationship, pursue further education, or choose how to spend my time and resources.
This leads me to ponder: How much time, money, and energy have I invested in fleeting emotional states? Could those resources have been better allocated? And, importantly, are my emotions so integral to my well-being that any expenditure aimed at alleviating emotional distress—even temporarily—is justified?
While these questions may take a lifetime to explore, my goal today is to share practical advice for my younger self, which I believe can resonate with many:
1. Identify Emotions Early
Start a journal to document daily activities and the emotions tied to specific events, people, or circumstances. By naming your emotional state—whether it’s fear, loneliness, or peace—you can better evaluate the appropriate course of action in the moment. This practice fosters self-awareness and empowers you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
2. Express Emotions Openly
Learn to articulate your feelings by discussing them with others. The insights gained from conversations can be invaluable. You may find that others share similar experiences and can offer helpful coping strategies, whether it’s going for a walk, reading a book, or simply taking a moment to breathe.
3. Tune into Your Body
Pay attention to your physical responses. Is your heart racing? Are your palms sweaty? Recognizing these signs of anxiety or nervousness is crucial. Your body often signals emotional states that require immediate attention. If you feel fear, for instance, consider removing yourself from the source of that fear, even if it seems irrational.
4. Develop Coping Strategies
Engage in regular physical activity, such as running or hitting the gym, to help regulate your emotional well-being. Practices like meditation and prayer can also provide balance. Explore hobbies that bring you joy—whether it’s singing, playing video games, or participating in sports—and make time for them regularly.
5. Be Cautious of Extreme Emotions
Extreme emotional states, such as rage, panic attacks, or mania, can lead to life-altering decisions. If you find yourself in such a state, seek help immediately. Reach out to a friend, therapist, or even emergency services if necessary. Prioritize your safety and well-being during these challenging moments.
To my younger self, I hope you’re listening. I know you’re still there, deep inside. And to the readers who have taken the time to engage with my thoughts, please remember that I am not a mental health professional. If you’re struggling with your emotions, I encourage you to seek guidance from a qualified expert.
I’ve been in therapy for seven years, and while I’ve learned a great deal, I do not claim to have all the answers. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-800-662-4357.
Emotional intelligence is a journey, not a destination. By investing in our emotional well-being, we can enhance our lives and the lives of those around us. Let’s commit to this journey together.
